i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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