I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm sobbing to NWA
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
