he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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