ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
