He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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