Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Even my vagina gasped.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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