i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
