just come out here and I will go home with you...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
