Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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