is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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