I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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