Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
