Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
