I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
