A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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