OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
