dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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