grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
