Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
