I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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