i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
