I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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