She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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