Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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