yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
