We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
