every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
