garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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