I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
