it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
