who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I have post one night stand depression
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