Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
