its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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