She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
