my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
handjob tips. give me some.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
