The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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