We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
