Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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