problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
