So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
