what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
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