I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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