She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
