I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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