Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
