I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
