youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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