so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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