you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
