I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
