Nicole vs. Life
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
